Page 31 - NYWaste-Spring2014

New York waste resurrectioN issue 2014 31
Don’t Waste Your Stars ~~ New York Waste Astrology Spring Forecast 2014, By Sunset Sensible Sunset can be reached for personal consultations at lovenessmonster@gmail.com
Aries, the ram^You are very serious and in charge this season, taking your bossiness to new levels of power and influence. Life is full of surprise run-ins with ex-lovers, ex-friends, ex-bandmates, etc etc. I hope you don’t start practicing your new witchcraft skills you learned from your roommate or you could cause major upheaval. You realize this and visit the home of a friend who has many books on the subject to gain further knowledge on the occult agenda. Suggested Listening – Lonely by Speaker Knockers
Taurus, the bull_We need you Taurus, please come back from vacations in outer space! The whole of NYC is forgetting the importance of staying grounded and maintaining security of income now that its Spring. Of course you can’t deny anyone their party time but your very presence in the room is reminder enough to us all to check our watches and remember the work that needs to get done. So go to all the events you are invited to, lovely Venus ruled being, for the greater good of ALL beings. Suggest- ed Listening – Planet Earth by Duran Duran
Gemini, the twins`Time to take a trip. You can find great fortune this season in a visit to a faraway place or in that of your mind by way of Alice in Wonderland style experimentation, or maybe you just meditate and have an aural vision,... no not oral , aural... anyway, yeah you will hear some magic words, that is if you ever learn to keep your yapper shut for a minute and listen! Take a painting class. Expand your creative realm,...you’ll have plenty of time cuz that cushy job you have just may be tighten- ing the wads., and hence so will you. To prepare for this I suggest that you stop buying your significant others wardrobe for them. They are grown-ups and can dress themselves, dear. Suggested Listening- This is The End by The Doors
Cancer, the crabaAs if anything else could just fall in your lap, this Spring it does. You write a book on how to make everything fall in your lap with apparent ease while disguising the gut-wrenching work it takes as fun and you title it “words with god on the beach”. Exactly 14 people buy a copy in its first season. Don’t worry. Publishing is timeless. This piece of work develops a cult following someday. Cancer really does know best. Suggested Listening- Auto Neutron by Fat White Family
Leo, the lionb Let the fighting begin. You are very visible so keep your stamina up by being conserva- tive with your punches and stay pretty, tiger...I mean
lion! And stop your lyin’ too. Even you are amazed at the amount of tail that’s being thrown your way so you are feeling alternative with your choice of part- ners, and they are many. Make sure you remember who you are talking to... there’s the young one who pays for everything, the drunk one, and the one that boosts you ego. We all have special needs, don’t feel bad, you can introduce new traditions of selfish righteousness to the ideal public image. Suggested Listening – This is Not a Love Song by Public Image Ltd.
Virgo, the virgincI see a sexy visit approaching from a more mature individual that cooks up a mean meal too. This temporary I Dream of Jeanie room- mate helps you to get more serious about the fun you have rather than your usual wreck of the Hesperus kinda fun. I see a real transformation happening and I am happy for your heart and soul. The riff raff are still hanging outside stalking you and you still feel obliged and loyal to their neediness but alas, they find misery with each other and forget about you, lucky Virgo. Your many creative and secret liveli- hoods are helping you be a hermit in style. Suggest- ed Listening – Last Dance by Donna Summer
Libra, the scalesd Homework! Homework! Homework! Hey! that’s a good band name... uhh yeah, anyway...remember way back when you were like, “ I cannot wait to be done with school cuz then I will be free of homework?!” Ahhhaajajajjajajjjaaja- jajaja!! :)))lolololololol!! You are the homework poster person , your home should be on one of those helper reality shows, you should write a NY Times bestseller about homework! That is if you ever get it all done. Just remember, candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. Yeah, and learn to be more boring. Suggest- ed Listening – Crystal Singing Bowls for Meditation
Scorpio, the scorpione“O, woe is me” says the Scorpio, “all my loads of cash are taking up too much space AND my roommate is moving, hmmmm?” and , “oh my goodness, I have to go on vacation with my lover again and eat spicy food after I just survived that horrific winter by ALREADY not being here!!” ...and then , just when you think you’re never gonna be able to ever have another scandalous relationship and you’re ready to reform yourself, here comes your gluttonous good luck devil to serve up some saucy antics. Suggested Listening – If I Can’t Have You by Yvonne Elliman
Sagittarius, the archerfYou are in a position to make beaucoup bucks my friend, if the love of your life doesn’t screw it up for you!!...but really, can we actually have it all, Sag? The love, the money, the tax free under the table income, the dream home, the perfect health while leading a well fed life of extrav- agance and mind expansion??? I have faith in your master plan... I don’t know why, but I do. Suggested Listening – When the Shit Goes Down by Cypress Hill
Capricorn, the goatg I almost forgot you, I am sorry!! I think it’s because you’re doing such a great job of hiding out in all those underground sex clubs all night and sleeping all day. Not your usual style, but then again you’ve always been a gothy type. Doesn’t Goth need to make a comeback someday? I think you can be the one to start that trend as a matter of fact! And while yer at it you can probably pick up some extra dollars doing some dominatrix work, or designing futuristic furniture. . . futuristic sex furni- ture, wow Capricorn, stop hanging out with so many Scorpions, aiyaiyai! Suggested Listening -- Feel It by Dust
Aquarius, the water carrierh- After quitting that drudgery/pay the bills job you get lucky with your creative ways of making income. You are a born pro- moter and have mastered the art of creating events, inviting exactly 3 people and then somehow packing the room. Your finger is on the pulse of the party people. You and your fiancé elope and win big and then give your winnings to the showtime showtime train dancer guys because you are high on mush- rooms and you know their dance moves make the train and hence the world a better place. Suggested Listening I Shot the Sheriff by Bob Marley
Pisces, the fishiSince when are you so wise and guru like? Of course I know you always had it in you but you didn’t figure that out until you sobered up! Isn’t it cool? people listen to you and everything now cuz they can understand you and wow, I am just super pleased with your lively new nature and that career that you are actually making money from . You could have an awkward love affair with an out- of-town-er if they can even see you after being blinded by your halo. Ugh that always happens, blind dates! Hey, that’s another good band name, no... Bad Dates, yeah, that’s it... Suggested Listen- ing - Sexy Socialite by Chromeo