“Please sir... can I have some more?”
On the road with THE BLOODY MUFFS - Fall 2010 Tour
Tour “Diarrhea” by Jonesy Lesac Dedouche
Edited by Steve Strauss
Photos by various Muff Divers
The Bloody Muffs are a punk rock band made up of various NYC punk rock veterans - Jonesy Lesac Dedouche (formerly of F.P.ToZ and Stark) on guitar, vocals and red wine; Jessica Carmen (formerly of Alcoholic Warhol) on bass, vocals, slide whistle and vodka; and Kat Kaos (formerly of Eden Star) on drums, vocals and tequila. Their first record Heavy Flow contains such classics as Fireworks and Beer, People Suck and I Like Pussy. (Me too!)
A Bloody Muffs show is like a frat party without the douchebags. It is a drunken, sometimes drug-induced riot.
It’s a party and everyone is invited, as long as you are not a dick. They are loud, they are funny and they are unpredictable. Exactly what punk rock should be.
Their brand new record Sloppy Seconds continues the fun with songs like The Ballad of Tilty Rodriguez, Drunk Tank and Let’s Get Drunk & Fuck. They recently got into a van so they could play music on the road and smell each other’s farts in close quarters. Jonesy kept a diary. I didn’t know he actually knew how to write. Take it away, Mr. Dedouche.
Oct 18: Otto’s Shrunken Head - New York City, NEW YORK
It seems like only a hot minute ago that we discussed the possibility of this tour over drinks. So much has happened in the two months that followed. Sloppy Seconds came out. Two t-shirt designs came out. Seven hundred and fifty flyers went out. We spent long nights labeling CDs and training touring drummer Eric Kotila in the ways of The Bloody Muffs. We spent longer nights of researching, planning and coordinating.
All that becomes a distant memory as we play the first show of the tour. It’s a warm up show in our home base - Otto’s Shrunken Head. It’s the gig that fires the opening round on a journey across to the Pacific and back. In just a few days we will be outside of NYC for nineteen days. Then we get Kat back on board and finish up at Otto’s on Nov. 20th. A bunch of friends came down to see us off. This is the first appearance of touring drummer Eric Kotila. We stormed through a thirteen song set that left the crowd calling out for more. We made new friends and fans and are grateful to have shared the bill with the Rewd Ones, 2 Giraffes, As Kultura and Jaclyn Falk. We celebrated after the show until the wee hours. Next - two days of work and packing... and off we go!
October 21: Mojo 13 - Wilmington, DELAWARE
Mojo 13 is a local bar in Wilmington, DE with a bit of character, starting with the crazy faced clown that greets you at the door. They had few tap beers, but all were good beers served in chilled pint glasses. The performance area had lots of band stickers and eclectic freak show themed artwork, including our personal favorite “Zoma the Sadist.” An amazing pre-show dinner was had at El Tapatio Mexican Restaurant, a must try for any band or patron of Mojo 13’s.
October 22: University Pizza - Youngstown, OHIO
Upon arrival at University Pizza, we were greeted by Viking Jim, the promoter. He was happy that his NYC band had arrived. From the outside it looked like a regular pizza restaurant / bar with an outdoor seating area. The front inside also looked like a regular pizza place. As we got to the back of the bar and found the performance area we could see there was something special going on. People were excited and waiting to hear live punk music. There was an excellent variety of beers. The Dead City Dealers came right up to us, introduced themselves and started talking about the state of the punk scene in the U.S., gear choices as well as favorite bands. There was no room for pretension at this bar.
The Dead City Dealers put on one hell of a show and got the crowed revved up for The Bloody Muffs. As we sawed through our set a mosh pit broke out in front of the stage, and people in the back of the performance area were dancing. There is no greater joy than to see the crowd enjoying and getting into your music. After our set we settled in for drinks and fun with the remaining crowd, The Dead City Dealers and Viking Jim. Needless to say, we had hangovers for breakfast. Punk pandemonium at University Pizza hosted by Viking Jim is a must hit stop for any touring punk band. My only regret is I didn’t get a chance to sample the pizza.
October 23: Spitfire Saloon - Cleveland, OHIO
After an easy drive from Youngstown to Cleveland, we took the show to Spitfire Saloon. First thing that struck me was the awesome punk vibe we got as soon as we entered. The jukebox was one of the best ever. Tons of wicked punk albums were dialed up by the drinking crowd all night long. Speaking of drinking, they had many beers to choose from and they were all very intriguing. The stage was surrounded with chicken wire!
Junkies MF played their Social D style rock, warming up the crowd very nicely for us.
Then we took the stage. Within minutes the crowd started moshing in the tiny space between the bar and stage. People jumped up and grabbed the chicken wire right in our faces. We blistered through the set one song after another with the crowd getting more intense with each song.
After the show we drank with the locals. Cleveland definitely loved The Bloody Muffs and The Bloody Muffs definitely loved Cleveland. We really didn’t want to leave Ohio after two crazy good shows but the tour had to roll on so we got moving.
October 24: NEWSFLASH - The heartbreaking fire at Otto’s Shrunken Head NYC
We woke up Sunday to hear that Otto’s Shrunken Head was on fire. Pictures of the firemen and the smoke were popping up on the web. We heard from back home that the band room was destroyed. The good news was no one was hurt. The bad news was the place this band was born will never be the same. The things we saw from that stage will never be seen again. The room we grew up in was wrecked. All upcoming shows were cancelled until further notice.
Monday night I was sitting in a cafe in Des Moines, Iowa when I saw the pictures of the back room. I cried. I couldn’t stop the tears from running down my face. To see the room I recognized so well - unrecognizable…it tore my heart in two. Halfway across the country I was heartbroken.
The thing that upset me the most was when I saw the drum set all burnt up. The bass drum had a custom head on it designed by Ann Link from the band Animalink. She asked me if she could design the drum head back in 2005 when I was booking bands at Otto’s. Unfortunately Ann died of ovarian cancer a few years ago and the drum head was a lasting tribute to her memory. Even right now I am shedding a tear over the loss of her art.
Otto’s reopened a few days later in limited capacity as they started to rebuild the back room. It’s really a tragedy that this happened.
October 24: Swing State - Lake Villa, ILLINOIS
We discovered that Illinois likes their tolls. I think it was like four tolls in ten miles but it’s hard to tell. We were sitting in traffic in Chicago for hours. The Chicago Bears motorcade zipped by. We finally got north of town and got moving along. Lake Villa is just south of the Wisconsin border.
Swing State is a great stop for any band or artist on tour. The venue is cool. The vibe is cool. The staff is super cool and supportive. This is not your typical place. They serve no alcohol of any kind and cater to the youth market. This Tea Shop/Hookah Bar is awesome! Book a gig there and see for yourself.
When we pulled in we were greeted by Bobbi, the super cool and smoking hot counter girl, and Pops, the soundman who volunteers. This is a place where the staff believes in its mission. We played to an initially small but intuitive crowd. But as the show went on, the crowd grew and everyone was super supportive and made us feel welcome.
The coffee is free. The tea is stupendous and the hookah flavors are superb. We smoked up some Watermelon Bubblegum first, very tasty and smooth. We finished with a blend Jessica invented made up of Pumpkin and Cardamom. We left Swing State fulfilled with the local experience and will return every time we are in the area.
October 25: Vaudeville Mews - Des Moines, IOWA
We continued traveling through the great toll state of Illinois heading to Des Moines, Iowa. We were amazed by the beauty of Iowa around the Mississippi River. Stunning fall foliage greeted us everywhere we looked. As we ventured west, I was stunned by the rolling hills of farmland - I so expected it to be flat. The most amazing thing was all of the wind turbines. If you’ve never seen one, they are truly impressive, and there were hundreds of them. Des Moines is a beautiful city. Two rivers cut through it and there are many pedestrian bridges that cross the water. We ate at a cafe next door to the club that was fantastic.
Speaking of fantastic, Vaudeville Mews is a stunning venue. The balcony had sofas and pool tables, and the downstairs was wide open for moshing. The sound system was professional, and the stage was deep and spacious. First up was an all star local act that kicked major ass ripping through a set of covers that got the pit rolling. Next up were the Muskrats. It was like seeing Nirvana if they were a high school band, really intense and really cool. Retch was next and they set up on the floor with all the amps lining the edge of the stage. Retch kicks major ass! We played one of our best shows of the tour despite breaking my second A string. Good thing I bought a bunch of extras. The sound was amazing on stage. The crowd was loving it. We performed at our highest level so far.
October 27: Surfside 7 - Fort Collins, COLORADO
Road burn was starting to set in as we woke up with out the urgency to be somewhere hundreds of miles away for the first time on the tour. Colorado’s 8000 foot elevation left us light headed but the alcohol hit faster and harder, which was nice.
The Safes from Chicago kicked off the night with a bang. We hit the boards and rocked the Rockies with all we had. But looming over our heads was the 1000 plus mile drive to Spokane, Washington which was nearing with each song. Worth noting, the pizza in Fort Collins was great - which is a surprise to find so far from NYC.
It was cold and windy as we left in the blackness of the Colorado night. Wyoming was darker and colder. Montana was the most beautiful place I’ve seen. We all rolled into the Northwest exhausted…onward ho.
October 28: The Cretin Hop - Spokane, WASHINGTON
Amazingly, we slept-walked into Spokane on time. Over 1000 miles of driving and seventeen hours logged in and we beat the club owner to the venue. After we loaded in, three bands of a similar genre to each other - but polar opposites of us, dominated the bill. We kicked it into high gear anyway and really hit the bulls-eye despite our state of insomnia. T.C. the bar owner, was super cool and super supportive as was his staff. We went to the hotel and passed out.
October 29: East End - Portland, OREGON
We enjoyed the scenic view of I-84 alongside the Columbia River. Stunning views of canyons and ravines made it very enjoyable. The East End club and more specifically Mike Flemming were the main reasons behind our decision to tour. We put on possibly our best set of the tour and delivered the NYC punk sound to the west coast. The intimate setting was perfect for a show and we forged new but long lasting friendships. The venue treated us very well. Another highlight of this show was the awesomely insane interview done in the bathroom. Lots of craziness ensued and if I could remember what we said, I’d share it with you.
Next, it was time for a much needed rest in Seattle.
October 31: Comet Tavern - Seattle, WASHINGTON
Two years ago I went to Seattle on vacation. I met a girl at the Comet Tavern and well….. Getting the chance to go back to the scene of the crime and play at the venue that has haunted my dreams was really cool.
Seattle is one of the most awesome cities in the world. With such a rich heritage in music it was really an honor to play for the people of Seattle.
We met up with our friends Ted and Tamar who are both amazing people. We rocked out hard, fast and loud and got a response we could only have dreamed of. After the show we snagged some Comet Dogs from the Ace Ventura looking guy who was cranking up I Like Pussy as he made those bad-ass dogs. After we loaded out we all piled in the van and got plowed at the Funhouse. Again, I don’t recall much from this point on. But I love Seattle!
November 1: Liquid Lounge - Boise, IDAHO
We bid farewell to the northwest and headed into the mountains. Oregon has some awesome ear popping peaks that amazed us as we drove through them. After a looooong drive we arrived at the Liquid Lounge in Boise - a cool venue that has a great sound and vibe with cheap booze. Cool stuff.
We hit the stage with a blistering set that left the crowd screaming for more. The promoter ran the show fantastically, pairing us with Twin Falls’ Upinatem, who just killed it. We felt welcomed and are welcomed back to play whenever we want. Too bad Boise is so far west of home. But making inroads here gives us a gateway in the mountains to the major cities of the west. We are definitely returning. Boise is a beautiful city with very friendly people.
November 2: Dive Bar - Las Vegas, NEVADA
Let’s leave this one to what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
November 4: Soundpony Lounge - Tulsa, OKLAHOMA
After the two long days of driving from Vegas, we were eager to jump back on stage. The Soundpony Lounge is an amazingly awesome bar with great drinks and a cool staff. But it was the patrons made this night into another one for the record books. We kicked off with our set’s usual starting four - Flop House, Tilty Rodriguez, Drama Queen & Let’s Get Drunk & Fuck. The crowd got up and stood right in our faces rocking as we rolled. The harder we played the more they got into it. No crazy stuff like Cleveland but one guy did start undressing.
After the show we drank and drank and drank. Joshua (the owner) spun some amazing records that got everyone dancing until last call. The Soundpony in Tulsa is by far one of the best places to play or hang. We are definitely returning!
November 5: Lemmon’s - St. Louis, MISSOURRI
Straight up - Lemmon’s is awesome. Brian put together a fantastic line up and sandwiched us between two great local acts - The Quaaludes and The Resoldered. The bar fed us tasty pizza, got us drunk and paid us. We really dialed up an explosive show and the crowd was really supportive. We hung out with a great bunch of people. St. Louis is a cool city. And we are definitely coming back ASAP. Really loved this one!
November 6: Vnuck’s Lounge - Cudahy, WISCONSIN
When we pulled up to the venue, from the outside it looked like a house. But once we got inside our jaws hit the floor. In what looked like a garage added on to a house we found a seriously professional music hall. It had a tall stage with stacks of speakers and lights like a major touring act would have.
Justin and his wife Misty bought the place in June 2010. They are in the process of turning it into the best venue in the Milwaukee area. They treated us like royalty, making us feel like part of the family. They were super nice. Chris the stage manager and Don the sound guy were also amazing people and top notch professionals.
Justin booked us based purely on our name. We wanted to make sure he got the best show possible.
The sound was unbelievable. The monitors were perfectly set and that made it easy to do what we do best - kick people in the ass for thirty five minutes. Much of this show will be on YouTube as soon as we get it up there.
After the show we drank with Justin, Misty and Chris, talking about our future in the soon to be renamed Eden Hall (named after their soon to be born daughter Eden). Without a doubt this is going to be one of the best venues in the country and we can’t wait to return to the fabulous smell of bacon the town is known for (ok- Jessica isn’t so into the bacon smell). What a fantastic hall!
November 7: Blue Rock Tavern - Cincinnati, OHIO
We got to the venue at 8pm and it was a ghost town. I was nervous that we weren’t going to be playing to anyone. But Tony the bartender and his adorable dog Buddy kicked off things on the right foot with a couple of rounds of shots and some fetch the ball. Tony really did the right thing for us and our nervous first impression was lost by the third round of shots - we were all having a great time.
We started off playing to a few people at the bar. Then something wonderful happened - three upstairs neighbors came down to check us out after hearing us through their walls. We have been telling everyone to crank our CDs to piss off the neighbors. And here we are winning them over. Unreal experience!
As the last show on the road with Eric, we really went out with a bang. Gone was the “we mean business” approach we had for much of the tour - replaced with a fun and loose good time party attitude. The funniest I Like Pussy on the tour finished up the nearly one hour set. We then celebrated until closing. A wildly hilarious ride back to the roach motel we were staying at closed the door on our life on the road. We’re going home.
November 20: Otto’s Shrunken Head - New York City, NEW YORK
A perfect and very emotional end to a great tour. It’s no secret how much we love Otto’s. The Bloody Muffs and many of our friends consider it to be our clubhouse, our home base. This was the first night the back room was open for bands since the fire. It was an honor to be on the bill that night. Owners Nell and Steve did an amazing job fixing up the place. There were so many people happy to just be in that bar, happy no one was hurt in the fire, happy the back room was open again for music. We had our drummer Kat back with us. And we had the awesome Grande go on before us, who totally kicked ass. The place was packed with happy drunk people. I had some technical problems with my guitar, but Jessica covered amazingly. It was one of those magical nights that you hear about, but are so rarely there to be a part of. Again - a great end to a great tour, I can’t wait to do it again. See you at the bar.
- Jonesy
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