Page 30 - NY Waste Fall 2014

30
New York Waste
horrible issue 2014
By Edward X Young
"Paranormal Captivity" aka "Dead Collections" Edward X Young & Kerri Taylor
"Bigfoot Blood Trap" Chrissy Laboy & Edward X Young
Bigfoot
"Bigfoot Blood Trap" Chrissy Laboy, John Link, Edward X Young
"Paranormal Captivity" aka "Dead Collections" Edward X Young &
Kerri Taylor
director John Orrichio
THE STORY IS TRUE! The names of the persons involved & the country of origin have been changed to protect the identity of the survivors of these CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY. All events portrayed in this motion picture happened exactly as depicted!
My work as actor, makeup effects artist, & assistant director on grindhouse producer John Orrichio’s newest picture, “Bigfoot Blood Trap,” may prove to be my most provocative cinematic effort yet. Currently on production at undisclosed locations in New York and New Jersey, this docudrama recounts actual events of real “mad” scientists, who once tried to breed a super warrior race of human/ape hybrids, which
resulted in predictably tragic and horrific results.
The sets and shooting schedule of this feature have been kept secret even from principals involved. Actors and crew are notified only hours before they are needed;
this is done to avoid interference from those who would try to thwart production to stop the facts of this nightmare from being unveiled to the world.
My association with the mysterious John Orrichio began in 2010, when veteran grindhouse actor Shawn Phillips (“Assault of the Sasquatch”) recommended me to replace him as bumbling exorcist, “Tommy, the Priest,” in the slapstick spoof, “Ghost Blunders,” shot in Bethlehem Pennsylvania at the notorious Sun Inn, an actual haunted museum that has been featured and explored on broadcast TV.
My performance and enthusiasm in this comedic role sufficiently impressed Orrichio to cast
me in a dark and somber role as “The Funeral Director” with a taste for women who don’t say
“No” in Orrichio’s follow-up feature “Dead Collections” (now available for sale in stores as “Paranormal Captivity,” retitled by the distributor, Wild Eye Releasing). In the unrated director’s cut, this thriller, featuring ghosts and serial killers, boasts my most transgressive scenes to date,
including portrayal of graphic necrophilia fantasies!
After such heavy fare, Orrichio and I returned to broad comedy with “Grillin’ It Up With Barbi Q,” a ribald spoof of reality TV cooking shows, featuring a band of inbred rustics (featuring Yours Truly as “Mr. Blue Jeans”) preparing “unorthodox” holiday feasts.
Next year, in the summer of 2015, we plan to fuse horror and comedy on the feature, “Evil’s
Lair,” in which I am slated to play a horror film director (a character not unlike John Orrichio, himself) forced into secluded retirement after blinded in an accident on set. Unable to see my new surroundings, I settle in a
rural Upstate New York village that unbeknownst to me is populated by a Satanic cult run
by grindhouse superstar, the diminutive John Link (“The Lord of the G-
Strings”). Although this story is in a jocular vein, it promises ample violence, gore, and nudity.
For now, John Orrichio, who has been grinding out horror movies since 2004 (including “Black Ribbon,” “Abduction,” and “Requiem for a Vampire”) is determined to embark on a risky departure with his first docudrama, “Bigfoot Blood Trap.” Aiding him in his quest for authenticity, I have lent my knowledge and expertise as an amateur cryptozoologist to fully flesh-out my
portrayal of mad Sasquatch hunter, “Laurence Corman.” Together with my faithful mute assistant, “Groton,” portrayed with diabolical intensity by John Link, we attempt the unthinkable sin of mating a captured male Bigfoot with kidnapped human women!
ON THE SET OF “BIGFOOT BLOOD TRAP”
“Bigfoot Blood Trap” features a cast of grindhouse luminaries, including Dennis Carter Jr. (“The Soulless”), Richard “Bucky” Szulborski (“Ghost Blunders”), John McCormack (“2 Guys, 1 Box”), K J Hopkins (“Holocaust Cannibal”), Adam & L C Ginsberg (impresarios of The Macabre Faire Film Festival), Debbie D (“The Hollywood Warrioress’) and newcomer Chrissy Laboy as gun-toting beleaguered heroine, “Shannon Breen.” It promises to venture forth into forbidden territory, where we never tread before!
You may doubt the story is true. But as The Amazing Criswell challenged in Edward D Wood Jr.’s science-fiction magnum opus “Plan 9 from Outer Space”...
Can you prove it didn’t happen?
Notes From The GriNdhouse