Page 30 - New York Waste Hot & Sweaty Summer 2015

30 sharky Summer Issue NY WASTE 2015
Jennifer
Valdes & Edward X Young are a
vampire couple in "Bite School".
James Balsamo, NYC Grindhouse Moviemaker
In "Bite School", Edward X Young, as vampire Count Cladu, looms over his toady, Rocko, played by John Link, who is flanked by sirens, Jennifer
"Aardvark" Valdez (left) & Lauren Kensil (right).
In "Catch of the Day", Danny E Danger sets himself ablaze in a spectacular stunt.
In "Bite School", Mandy Kat Kitana goes full- frontal at top of stairs.
Danny Karron as Lobster Man in "Catch of the Day".
By Edward X Young
Notes From The GriNdhouse
In James Balsamo’s “Bite School”, I play Vampire Count Cladu, who together with my toady, Rocko, played by John Link, runs a girls’ college ripe with virgin blood. Bal- samo stars as the romantic hero again, playboy millionaire, Tony Canoni, who battles both the undead and The Les- bian Mafia. Celebrity cameos include Ari Lehman (Jason in “Friday the 13th”), Butch Patrick (Eddie in “The Mun- sters”), and legendary porn star Ron Jeremy. “Bite School” even boasts a live performance in Tompkins
Square Park by David Peel & The Lower East Side, featur- ing Yours Truly, Edward X Young, on vocals!
“Gory Tits” by its title alone may represent James Bal- samo’s most perfectly “grindhouse” picture in his lurid oeuvre. In this quintessential masterwork, I portray Asian crime lord, Mr. Fong. Redolent of Sax Rohmer’s Fu
Manchu and utterly politically incorrect, I sell dope to
James Balsamo, New York Sleaze Master, Grinds ‘Em Out the Old Fashioned Way!
Exploitation icon, James Balsamo, stays true to his sleazy roots. Whereas too many independent movie makers operating on micro budgets vainly attempt to make Hollywood-style pictures, Balsamo keenly understands that is no way to compete in this subcultural arena. Throwing socially redeeming value to the winds, delivering the goods we crave, his cinematic gutter masterpieces are pure unadulterated trash, like rollercoaster rides rife with gore, nudity & rock ‘n roll!
It’s a formula for success proffered to me by the great filmmaker, John Waters, of “Pink Flamingos” fame. A decade ago when I made the crazy decision to become a screen actor mid-life, Wa-
ters advised that my only hope to gain recognition was to push the enve-
lope way beyond anything Hollywood would dare attempt. In Waters’
case, he had a fat guy in drag eat dog shit off a sidewalk. Waters said to succeed as an independent movie maker, you must find your own way of doing that.
Lewd, prurient, and gratuitous, James Balsamo’s pictures aren’t winning a lot of awards; and his submissions are often rejected by film festivals. Of- fending many, as he deliberately does, he has successfully achieved a deli- ciously notorious reputation that has made him a cult favorite to those with more arcane tastes.
Becoming known as an “Orson Welles” of his genre, Balsamo usually per- forms in every capacity on his pictures, as producer, director, screenwriter, lead actor, editor, special effects artist, and musical scoring artist, too!
As a proud “grindhouse” actor, I like working with James Balsamo, because he gets it, following in the lurid footsteps of drive-in movie legends like Hershel Gordon Lewis (“Blood Feast”, “Two Thousand Maniacs”), Joel M Reed (“Bloodsucking Freaks”) and the beloved King of Troma Pictures, Lloyd Kaufman (“The Toxic Avenger”, “Class of Nuke ‘Em High”). All of these directors have worked as actors in James Balsamo’s projects.
Other notable performers that appear in James Balsamo’s Acid Bath Productions include “Godfather of Gore” Tom Savini (“Grindhouse”, “Sea of Dust”), Tony Todd (“Candyman”), and the late Dave Brockie aka Oderus, from the horror band GWAR.
In James Balsamo’s “Catch of the Day”, I play mad Doctor Benjamin Jackal, who together with slavish stooge, Groton, played by grindhouse superstar, John Link, embark on an evil plan to kidnap New York City street prostitutes and transform them into fish monsters – for the benefit of
mankind, of course! Balsamo portrays the heroic cop, Rod Davis, who together with Of- ficer Harry Chu, portrayed by Jeff Kim, seek to brutally vanquish evil and get the scantily clad girls.
“Catch of the Day” is a loving tribute to Del Tenney’s 1964 schlock masterpiece, the sci-fi monster musical, “The Horror of Party Beach”. Typical of Balsamo’s pictures, it’s loaded with cameos of genre luminaries, in- cluding, Jason Mewes (“Clerks”), Irwin Keyes (“House of 1,000 Corpses”), Keven Van Hen- tenryk (“Basket Case”), Johnny Legend (Bride of Re-Animator”), Genoveva Rossi (“The Soulless”), Debbie Rochon (“Playmate of the Apes”), WWE wrestler Jake “The Snake” Roberts, and adult film star Jasmine St. Claire.